When was the last time you

watched a really good movie where Stuff Blows Up? For me, it was about 5 minutes ago; I just finished watching the super ultra triple platinum THX mastered DTS version of the first Die Hard¹. It is arguably—and I know this is a strong statement—the best action movie of all time. Sure, there are some great ones: True Lies, The Rock, Bad Boys (although that's really more of a comedy, even though lots of Stuff Blows Up in it), The Killer, just to name a few². But this one...this one is the best.

I mean, they just don't make 'em like that anymore. All the so-called action movies that come out these days are CG-heavy, poorly-written, PG-13 mockeries. Come on: PG-13? Please. Everything's PG-13 nowadays. Even Alien vs. Predator was PG-13³. Who ever heard of a PG-13 monster movie? If you cut out the blood and guts, where's the fun in it?

I don't know, action movies these days seem to be nothing more than a bunch of fast cars, cheesy one-liners and special effects cobbled together, with all the objectionable bits cut out so that teenyboppers can go see them. They have no teeth. Maybe I'm just getting old, but I really miss the good old days. Sigh.

¹ Die Hard, in case you're interested, ranks as number 4 on Men's Journal's list of The 50 Best Guy Movies of All Time, after Dirty Harry, The Godfather part I, and Scarface. I must here take exception to the fact that MJ says

a true guy movie is a movie only a guy can love. A crucial distinction. Pop one into the DVD player and your wife or girlfriend should run screaming from the room.

I am living proof that this is not true. Granted, I am one of the only chicks I know (among 3, I think) who is a sucker for action movies, but one exception is enough to disprove that assertion. Another thing I have to take exception to: The Matrix and Caddyshack (don't get me wrong; they're great) make it into the top 10, but Star Wars doesn't? Where's the justice?

² You'll note that I am only mentioning strictly action movies. No sci-fi, no comic book movies, no fantasy. Just straight up, cops-and-robbers, cops-and-terrorists, hitmen-and-hitmen action movies.

³ Note that this is why I never saw it.